What the mind thinks, what the heart feels
by R'Peach
Summary: "Why did you visit me?". Natsu gave a small chuckle and answered as it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because, you were the only person I could see in the world bellow." - a NaLu AU.


**Hello dearies! After a long time without writing inspiration found me again… Don't ask me where I got it, because honestly I don't know it myself. But since it came to me, I want to share it with you!**

**I hope you like it! (I hope this isn't too dark…)**

**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail and all the character belong to our lord and saviour, Mashima-sensei.**

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**What the mind thinks, what the heart feels**

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Lucy Heartfilia was a very religious woman. Every Sunday she would go to Church and sing in the choir. Her hobbies weren't many, basically staying at home browsing Tumblr and writing her novel would suffice her needs for fun. Friends? Well, she had a few, and met them once a week, at most. She was not anti-social, since her evening activities revolved around being a very passionate shipper. She just didn't find the need to be that active in real life, like she was online.

And it was thanks to those needs for scrolling down her feed that Lucy was bombed with a post with a very depressive character.

Staring at her screen, unable to move her body, Lucy felt herself being crushed with the latest news.

Natsu Dragneel, famous actor of comedy shows, had died that morning due to a car accident.

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**Lucy's POV**

The moment I saw the post regarding Natsu's death I felt paralysed. My whole body became dysfunctional. I couldn't get up from my chair, I couldn't keep scrolling down my feed. I just kept seeing the video of our national TV channel, announcing the tragedy. I looked at my calendar. April 1st was ten days ago, so this isn't a prank… Even if today was April 1st, no one in his right mind would joke about something like this.

Natsu was a star in ascension. A cute one actually, with his pink hair as his most famous trait. Even though I watch little to none TV, I saw his series weekly on the Internet. He has… had… so many talent. Just a grin from him, and I could find my mouth turning up as well.

Twenty three years old. He's… was… the same age as I. Suddenly I feel even more despair. So young. And I never had the chance to see him in person.

As this thought crosses my mind, I feel even worse. I never met him. And now, I'll never have the chance…

It's irrational and I'm completely aware of that! Even though this is sad indeed, a young person with a brilliant future ahead was lost, I shouldn't feel like I became incomplete. Like I should have met him, and he should have met _me._ He was not a part of my life… Except for the show but that's hardly the point. What I mean is… My life should just go the same way as always. Nothing more, nothing less.

And even though my brain is working perfectly, I can't shake the feeling that my heart isn't.

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**Normal POV**

Natsu's death became national and international news. Many fans, mostly girls, all around the globe were shown by the reporters in a complete display of pain, tears, screams and occasionally wishes to leave the world alongside their idol.

Meanwhile, Lucy kept going through her routine. Writing her novel, communicating through Tumblr. That week, however, she decided to not have her usual meeting with her friends. She was grieving, for whatever reason she still couldn't fathom, and didn't want them to see that. She was a weirdo already, and didn't want to add to that weirdness by showing them what the death of someone she never even mentioned to them once, was doing to her.

In the quiet of her room, Lucy would keep a keen eye on the development of Natsu's case. The car crash occurred when he was alone, the streets still empty due to the early hour in the morning. According to close sources, Natsu's routine was always the same. _Just like mine is_.

He would wake up at around 4:30 in the morning, eat something, get dressed, get into the car by 5:15, and drive until he reached the local park, where he would run for about an hour. After his jog, he would get into the car again, and drive for another hour until he reached the studio. By 8.30, he was already working. That fateful morning however, he never got to the park. A little bit of oil, mixed with the rain of the previous day, was enough to put the car out of the road, and take the life of the healthy young man inside of it.

Lucy felt like a stalker, a bad one at that, since she only got Natsu's routine after he can't do it anymore. _If only __I knew it sooner…_ Natsu's lived only half an hour by car from her place. They could have met, they could have bumped into each other in the supermarket. Only they never did.

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**Lucy's POV**

I'm starting to feel afraid of myself. I can't seem to rest well at night, and during the day all I do is use my computer. I must get out of this state, it's been four months already. And so I do the only thing I can think about whenever my path is a little rougher.

I go to the church.

Only me, and He. All alone, having a one way conversation. Receiving answers through feelings.

As I sit down, and as tears start flowing through my eyes, I silently question Him why I can't find my way, if I never even got lost in the first place.

His silence seems to mock me. Trying to make me understand a truth that is only mine.

Maybe _he_ was your soulmate. That's my conscience speaking and I try to shut it down. Only, I can't.

I never dated anyone. I don't think I've ever been in love. So how could I even recognize a soulmate? If Natsu really was mine… Shouldn't I recognize him the moment I first saw his show, on a late night after a huge fight with my father? Okay, yeah, I do remember when I first saw him. I do remember how his smile made me smile, how his jokes brought a giggle out of me, and how thankful I was to this person that could actually take my mind away from my father demands.

We, humans, are stupid. We only realize what we had, or could have had, after we can't have it anymore. And I feel the most stupid of us all. I feel like I'm becoming one of those screaming fan girls, a much more contained one, but still. I shouldn't be mourning like this. But, I am.

And it's after this battle between what my mind believes and what my heart feels, that I realize the tears have yet to stop.

That night

I get ready to sleep around 4 am, even though I don't feel sleepy at all. Turning off the light at my bedside table, I lay down facing the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, I try to fall asleep instantly. It doesn't work. I lay still for minutes, until I can feel my muscles relax, my breathing getting even. I'm still thinking of him.

I know I'm about to fall into dreamland. And it's in this state, the beginning of bliss, that I feel _it._ Light pressure above me, a feather touch to my lips. Lips against lips, fitting perfectly together. I put an end to my blissful state and turn on the light. The room is empty, of course. It's all in my imagination, especially after my church visit in the afternoon. But I can't shake the feeling out of me.

"Is that you, Natsu?" – I hear myself whisper before I can even comprehend I was speaking. I'm losing my mind.

I slap myself lightly on the cheeks, trying to get myself together. It's time to move on.

Before I turn off the light, I look around the room once more. Cringing internally, I can't help but say something else aloud.

"Happy birthday, Natsu".

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**Normal POV **

Years have passed. Lucy became a famous writer.

Her first novel was about an actor who had a serious car crash, and went into a coma. The girl he crashed into got out of it without a scratch, and stayed by his side all the time. He eventually woke up, and recovered with her help. And, they fell in love.

Lucy knows what motivated her writing, but no one else does. Her feelings were kept only to herself.

Even though many years have gone by since she was a naïve twenty three year old woman, her discovered feelings for the pink haired actor didn't melt away with time. They only got stronger. And she accepted them. If God made it that way, she would bear her fate.

Every year, on the day of Natsu's birthday, every time Lucy was falling asleep, she would feel _it _again. A brief touch on her lips. A warm kiss.

When the time came for Lucy to finally return to her Father, she was of age ninety seven. A beautiful life was left behind. No regrets, except for never meeting _him_.

As she went through the gates of Paradise, she saw herself reflected in a cloud. Her younger old self, to be exact. Not understanding she shook her head and looked around. Everything was so quiet and peaceful.

Next thing she knows, she's being hugged from behind.

Heart stopping (pun intended), she turned to face the source of heat, only to find the smile that filled her dreams.

"Yo, Lucy! You're finally here… Come, our adventure begins now!" said Natsu, smiling at her like there was no tomorrow.

"O-okay" was all Lucy could say, feeling slightly lightheaded, but utterly happy and fulfilled for the first time in 74 years.

Leaning down, he gently pressed his lips to her. And this time, she was able to put more pressure to it, hugging him close to her spirit. After what seemed like a lifetime, they broke the kiss, touching foreheads, not quite able to let go just yet.

"It _was_ you… Those nights, on your birthday…" Lucy didn't need to finish her sentence.

"Yeah" - his whisper filled her with warm – "Mavis let me visit you on my birthday, every year, just when you were falling asleep. She said we deserved a little bit of happiness while we couldn't be actually complete".

Looking at him, and blushing lightly, she couldn't help but ask: "Mavis?"

"Our God" he explained, winking at her.

She nodded her head, after all, God could perfectly have a name.

Not being able to resist any longer, she questioned him: "Why did you visit _me?_"

Natsu gave a small chuckle and answered as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Because, you were the only person I could see in the world bellow." - Seeing Lucy's confused stare he continued – "After you leave your body, and become a spirit, you can only see one person if you look down…" – he said as he pointed to the ground – "… and that person is the other part of yourself. I could only see _you_."

After hearing his explanation, Lucy looked down. She saw Natsu's arms around her waist, and bellow the ground, nothing. Looking up again, she gave him the brightest smile of all, understanding that what she felt was true all along.

Her other half was standing right in front of her.

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**So, this is it… I hope you enjoyed! **

**I feel tempted to do a Natsu's point of view, but I want your honest opinion if it's worth it :)**

**All my love,**

**Your NaLu shipper R'Peach***


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